This was my original intro page but I never thought it flowed to well for an intro. Instead of ditching it though, for anyone reading this site who may be similar to myself, I find people’s personal stories so interesting and if you’ve made it this far then it might be worth your time going through this. I invariably pick up more from the comments sections on videos or web articles than I do from the main topic itself. Does anyone else agree that we all need scholars and we all need people who can present things well but so often the people with the real illumination don’t fall in to either of those categories!

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The Aim Of This Site

So, to repeat, the aim here is to encourage us all to start thinking for ourselves and to begin finding those elusive answers to the questions we are all asking, because they really are there once we learn how to think for ourselves, yet to most these answers will remain hidden in plain sight.

There’s quite a lot on this page but I hope you read it through as it sets the scene for the rest of the site. Since a lot on here is written through the lens of ‘my journey’, there’s a tiny intro to who I am and then there’s quite a bit to try to show WHY YOU, the ordinary everyday dude NEEDS to, just like I did and still do, consider the points made here in this first section, they are 101% relevant to all our lives. You may not know it, but then many do not know that they are ill until they go to the doctor for a routine blood test, and then that knowledge can change everything can’t it.

As of 2024 I’m 55 years into my journey and I could rather crudely sum it up so far as like living in a ditch by the main highway until I was about 30, the same ditch that virtually all of us are obliviously but very intentionally shepherded into from birth. A series of events then happened that led me to realise this for the first time and thankfully I was helped to escape that rut I’d been trapped in – only it took me nearly another 20 years to realise that I’d simply been led into the ditch on the other side of the road…..! 

Because at least the first of those experiences are common to virtually all of us, as the years have gone by it’s got progressively more impressed upon my heart that I am in debt to others, a debt of love, to share some of the things I’ve discovered that exposed this rut that so many people today are in and then helped me escape to freedom, freedom of thought and mind, of knowing who I am and that there is a meaningful purpose to all our lives. 

I’m not asking anyone to take this on board, I really believe we should all be totally free to choose what we do with our lives, within a proper moral social structure of course. But, do we have freedom of choice if we don’t have all the information presented before us? I’d say not.

And that’s my point here, to try to show how we are ALL deceived to some degree or other because so much information is not given to us nowadays, and secondly, to show how all too often that which we do have is twisted or manipulated in all key areas, and why – to keep us in slavery yet fully unaware of it.

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So many of us today still trust our leaders, our teachers, our religious leaders, our newspapers, and even our internet influencers. We look to them for security. I used to do, I believed them and that’s the ditch I fell down, after school days I just followed the pattern of life that everything so far in my life had conditioned me to follow. 

But have you ever thought about the wisdom of that? So many of our elderly generation still unquestionably trust people in positions of power and authority and I believe that is because in their day generally speaking we still could trust most of them, probably most of the time. But times have changed so is that still so nowadays? 

Just before Covid times the Prime Minister, and, during Covid times the health secretary incredibly both left their wives and appeared to put personal pleasures and satisfaction before their wives and kids. It absolutely amazes me then just how many people really think that these same two guys really did care for you and me with their life changing policies introduced during Covid when they clearly didn’t even care for their own families. When I was weighing up what I should be doing during Covid, I asked myself could and should I really trust those guys to do my thinking for me, after all, do they get where they do nowadays by merit? 

Waking up to Deception.

Plenty of people have deceived me in the past, and I’m sure they still do, hopefully to a slightly lesser degree nowadays though, and anyone who thinks they’re not deceived is simply fooling himself. 

As of the current time of writing, there is no better way for me to describe this deception I’m waking up from as being like peeling the layers off the onion. We are all deceived, every one of us, to some degree or other. And when we think we are right and others are wrong it is so wise to remember that the guy we are debating has probably just peeled one more layer off the onion than we have and is now closer to truth than we are. He sees what we don’t.

Almost everything I believe now is something that I once would have ridiculed but if we would just stop and ‘think’, this allows those layers of deception to be peeled away, and some of these once bizarre and laughable ideas we come across become ever more real and totally obvious and the deep truths of this world become less and less blurred. 

Another good analogy I like is this – how we all see things through different lenses. Someone wearing blue filtered glasses will say that snow is blue whereas someone wearing red filtered glasses will say snow is red. Who is correct? Well, they both are aren’t they, relatively speaking!! And that’s why there’s so many people teaching so many different understandings of life, and also why there’s so many opinions, disagreements, divorces, fights, wars etc. 

The great quest therefore should be to find that correct lens with which to look at life through, and to allow as many layers of the onion to be removed as we can. And this site is intended to help find that lens of interpretation for you. However long I’m granted left on my journey now, it’s my aim to encourage folk to start thinking and to try and help us all realise that 

THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON IN OUR LIFE THAT WE CAN’T DEAL WITH OR NO QUESTION ABOUT OUR OFTEN TERRIBLE OR SEEMINGLY BIZARRE DAILY NEWS THAT DOESN’T HAVE AN ANSWER REGARDING WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON IF WE CAN JUST GET BEYOND THAT WHAT WE ONCE THOUGHT WAS TRUE. WE ALSO DON’T HAVE TO BE SUICIDAL, FEEL WORTHLESS, LIVE AN ULTIMATELY MEANINGLESS LIFE OR WE DON’T HAVE TO HIDE ALL LIFES QUESTIONS AND UNCERTAINTY BEHIND MATERIAL POSSESSIONS, HOLIDAYS, DRINK, DRUGS ETC ETC, WE CAN ALL FIND OUR TRUE WORTH, THE MEANING OF LIFE AND OUR TRUE PLACE IN THIS WORLD. EVERY ONE OF US HAS A PURPOSE AND A DESTINY BUT SO FEW EVER FIND AND LIVE IN THE FULNESS OF THAT DESTINY. 

This site is intended to speak to ALL people, NO MATTER WHAT your situation – rich or poor, contented or suicidal, confident or total wreck, black or white, straight or gay, hearing voices or of a sound mind, old or young, educated or not educated, bold or shy, privileged or unprivileged, badly hurt/abused or fully loved, religious or not, or anything or anyone else I’ve missed out. We all come into this world with an empty shell and we all can and should go on to shine in our individual and unique beauty. We all have the potential to be victors in life yet so many of us are still looking for answers to questions we mask over. Only when we discover truth do we have that real deep unshakeable inner peace that we all seek. 

You won’t find many answers here because that’s not my aim, my aim is to help you find a new lens to go looking through and then you’ll discover you can find for them for yourself, indeed, so many more than I could write about here. And my hope is at least this site may be a stepping stone on your journey and encourage us all to think more for ourselves rather than unquestionably believe what we are told, either by me or anyone else. And please remember, if we don’t think for ourselves somebody else WILL tell us how to think, history shows us that there is always a potential dictator there to take advantage when critical thinking vanishes. 

Beware of Conspiracy Theorists.

Maybe one day I might put a few details to what I know now are crazy things that most of us still take for truth in this world. But not here not yet. Sadly the people who do are so easy to label as conspiracy theorists nowadays and get cancelled. If that’s you, please think for yourself for a minute. Could you possibly have been brainwashed into thinking ‘conspiracy theorist’ is synonymous with ‘mentally unhinged person’? Well, the actual definition of a conspiracy is “a secret plan by a group to do something unlawful or harmful”. Here’s another question, do you really think there isn’t anybody in this world right now who is making secret plans?

If you believe that you may as well leave this site now and go buy a pint and throw a few darts down at your local! 

In 2006 aged 37, my ‘security’ was 100% shattered and swept away in an instant when I realised for the first time in my life that I am being lied to, on a scale unimaginable, by all of those aforementioned people we are supposed to trust, sometimes knowingly but I guess mostly unknowingly. I was truthfully truly terrified, a grown up but nevertheless terrified adult as reality dawned on me. For six months I slept fully dressed because I genuinely thought “they“ would come and arrest me because I’ve discovered their secret. How naïve! Being a bit of a Luddite, I never had the Internet back then and had no idea other people were also aware of these things. Looking back though, the immense benefit of that is that no one, including my own inner spirit, can accuse me of being brainwashed. And this provides a rock solid base for me to confidently do things like this here. 

That started a journey of questioning everything, and I mean everything. Nearly every week even now, my list gets longer with things that I now believe that are totally polar opposite to what I was previously taught. 

Am I going to share detail of these things – no. I have done on my business website in the past but from experience I’ve learnt that people reject what they do not understand because it makes them feel small. And when most people find horror in reality, they seek solace in illusion. They would rather believe in some other reality, even if it is only an illusion. My main aim therefore is to encourage people to ‘think’, and then a person can discover these things for themselves, and at their own appointed time when they can now handle truth, rather than ridicule it because they’re weren’t ready for it before. That way too, this becomes more than just information, it becomes ‘real’.  

There was one other major pivotal turning point in my life, in 2018, and that also came about without any sort of direct input from anybody else. In fact it took me a month of typing practically everything I could think of into Google before I eventually found out other people understood this too. Eventually I discovered I’d simply realised things that were common knowledge until 150 years ago but have since deliberately been progressively either destroyed or marginalised. And I am so grateful for those two areas of illumination happening like that, without a direct teacher. In that way, those two foundational truths that now hold my world paradigm together cannot be shaken simply because I KNOW no one else brainwashed me. And that’s the source of the confidence I have to go ahead with this site.  

I hope you work your way around this site, although please keep in mind there is nearly 20 years worth of peeling onions gone on in some of the writing here. Illumination is progressive and from my own personal experience I can validate that well known saying ‘‘all truth passes through three stages, first it is absolutely ridiculed, secondly it is violently opposed and only finally is it accepted when it becomes evident over time”. My last 20 years could admittedly have been reduced to a few short years if I’d been more engaging, but my point is that none of us suddenly work things out overnight.

Is this for You – Yes!

Even though this site may appear to be orientated at showing the church going folk I grew up with how they’ve been virtually totally deceived, my heart really lies with the poor in this world, the poor in spirit as well as the materially poor. I am fortunate never to have been poor bodily or materially and fortunately chose never to experiment with drugs, but I have been poor in spirit. I’ve never been suicidal but I can remember one night in my early 20s, driving like an absolute mad man in a crazy sports car because I didn’t really care whether I lived or died, my life was pointless, just meaningless and without any hope of anything better, so why not have a bit of fun or at least die trying I thought. Thankfully, on that crazy night I got away with what many people very sadly don’t and I’ll never forget that.

Since then, as I have already written above I’ve discovered there isn’t a single person on the planet who needs to or even should have to feel that way. 

I recently saw this poem and was rather moved by it….

Pretty Ugly

By Abdullah Shoaib

I’m very ugly

So don’t try to convince me that

I am a very beautiful person

Because at the end of the day

I hate myself in every single way

And I’m not going to lie to myself by saying

There is beauty inside of me that matters

So rest assured I will remind myself

That I am a worthless, terrible person

And nothing you say will make me believe

I still deserve love

Because no matter what

I am not good enough to be loved

And I am in no position to believe that

Beauty does exist within me

Because whenever I look in the mirror I always think

Am I as ugly as people say?

Now read that poem starting from the bottom…

I like that poem, but I do also know that we can’t convince ourselves just by wishful thinking, that would simply be like painting over rust. Many “therapists“ do a great job here and I’m not negating that great work because painting over rust can keep a car away from the scrap man’s grip until a full restorationist can be found!! Again, the aim of this site is to provide material for you to think about for yourselves and come to the realisation of those truths in the poem for yourself, rather than by wishful thinking. 

Many turn to religion with all it’s ‘do this, and don’t do that’ self help stuff, but in effect all that is is wishful thinking as all religion tries to change us starting from the outside and working inwards, but trying to change ourselves ultimately always fails and simply keeps us permanently enslaved to a rulebook specific to each religion. Ultimately this is only ever painting over the rust in our hearts and the real answer lies where we find something that can totally and instantly change us deep down inside, like a software update or change of operating system. This will then progressively manifest itself on the outside without effort. Or, in the wording of the analogy, if we can fix the rust at source it doesn’t need to be painted over ever again. 

The Point of the Following Topics in Section One.

The rest of this first section here contains a few various views and observations about life in the first ditch, all from differing viewpoints. They’re all similar, many aspects are repetitive of other sub titles too but I’ve done that because we all see and perceive things slightly different and I have tried to appeal to as many people as possible on this site, hoping that one of these short texts might be the one that resonates with you. There will be more over time because as I chat to more and more people I learn to see life in the ditch of slavery from new perspectives.

However, there is only one escape and revealing that escape ladder, sometimes called ‘The Way’, is the main thrust of this first section, as nothing else will make sense to you on this site, or indeed in life in general until we free ourselves of our faulty past mindsets. Again, this will be presented slightly different in each sub section but its the same escape ladder, just viewed from a different vantage point.

Please remember, that when we are so deep in a rut, it’s only actually after we’ve climbed out, not before, that we can actually see what else there is out there. Therefore we have to actively chooses to climb out and that makes it a bit of a step of faith really. What then wants to make us choose to climb out if we are happy where we are? Well, many of us already know what a dreadful place this world really is and I don’t want to put too much negativity on this site but it’s crucial to get to this point of realising that otherwise we never will perceive the reality of the ditch we are in, never mind develop a wish to climb out and escape. And sometimes I am known to say it how it is because loving certain proud people sometimes really is telling them ‘your government gives you your nice pension purely to keep you frittering away your time in the coffee shops and on the golf courses because in that way the reality of the ditch you are in will never dawn on you and you, as clever as you are, will remain no threat. Now wake up’! I’m encouraged by Walt Disney I think it was who said ‘you may not realise it when it happens but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you’. Picture a very loose noose around a persons neck, always with them everywhere they go, constantly tightening but only incredibly slowly. Life carries on as normal and everything seems fine, until that day it begins to touch the skin – and then it’s too late. The reality is though that it was there all along and this site is intended to help you to realise that and escape the hangman’s noose before it is too late.

Finally in this part, please consider this, the most important part of any building is its foundation and our lives are just the same in that sense yet the overwhelming majority of people build their whole life on a base of nothing but complete uncertainty. And what then happens to anything built on poor foundations when the storm comes…? Yes, it comes crashing down.
But, we all have the potential to be overcomers in life and wear that victors crown. Please read on.

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Note * If anyone has a hang up about a person divorcing and remarrying, or if being a divorcee you are carrying any hurt, embarrassment, shame or other baggage please do get in touch and share your thoughts. I’d love to share with you how I discovered almost everyone totally misses the context of that supposed biblical teaching which demonises divorce and remarriage. Again, it’s just to keep us in slavery and I too struggled with the issue for several years until my eyes were opened, at which point I was set free and went on to meet the most amazing wife a man could wish for. I’m most definitely not advocating the ‘everyone does what is right in their own eyes’ society that our country seems to be embracing more and more but freedom from religious and mental baggage is such a wonderful gift that we should all be able to live in.